Monday, March 12, 2018

Turning Fifty

I am turning fifty (yes: five zero!!) in September. I can't believe it! And I don't mean it as in "oh my, I hate getting older". No, it's more something along the lines of "where the hell has time gone?".

When I was in my twenties, I never thought about getting older (what normal 20 something does that anyway??). It was something for the (oh so far away) future! Something I'd deal with once I'd become an adult. And for the 20 something Me being an "adult" meant that I would have "reached the target" (not more defined, obviously... hahaha). I'd be someone who'd knew exactly who she was and that would be it. I'd wear my adult coat and never take it off again.

Hilarious, don't you think? Who I am today has nothing to do with what my 20 something Me thought I'd be. Still not "found it". Still not arrived. Still no life's target ... besides living every day at its fullest (or at least try my best!).
It's so much cooler than I'd ever thought it'd be! I am zen. My brain waves are not in permanent state of agitation. My inner voice guides me through the ups and downs of my life. I know my strength and my shortcomings.

In some ways though I really have "arrived" but in many others there is still so much to discover, so many new paths to walk on, people to meet.
What helped a great deal all along this wonderful journey so far is that my happiness never depended on the "outside Me". At one point along the way my hair turned gray. Wrinkles became part of my skin. Age spots as well. C'est la vie. It's certainly not important because, to say it with other's words:


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