Friday, October 2, 2015

Work in Progress

I've started a new yoga class a couple of weeks ago. My new yoga teacher i.e. yoga lessons aren't quite what I thought they would be. Up until now, all my other (few, I admit) yoga lessons i.e. teachers were ... kind of easy. It may be due to the fact that the classes were very small and therefore the teacher kind of ... adapted the Asanas to the few scholars she had.
The new one though has bigger classes and can't focus on single scholars (she does her best though but with 15 - 20 people in the room it's not easy for her). In addition, the student's level of yoga knowledge is quite high and with me still being a kind of beginner, there are some Asanas that I simply cannot do.
Simply cannot.
(Or should I say: simply cannot do ... yet?)
And I struggle with it.
Yes, I admit it.
I have a hard time accepting that I cannot do every Asana. Waiting on the others to finish without being "part of the group".
It pisses me off. Really. And it pisses me off even more that IT pisses me off in the first place.
Why can't I simply accept that I'm still a beginner? Why can't I be grateful, enjoy myself, try my best and accept that some Asanas are simply impossible for someone with my kind of body (i.e. I am no size zero kind of girl!)?

My first instinct, during the first few lessons, had been to simply quit the class and start somewhere else. But quitting is not the right way to do this. I want to evolve in life and quitting at the first "problem" is not the way to go.
So, I am sitting there, Thursday after Thursday, enjoying yoga and breathing really deep when I can't do some Asanas. Learning patience. Being humble. Accepting my body and its limits. Trying out, nevertheless, up to where I can go and if not, I breathe and accept it.

Life lessons are to be found wherever you want to find them and ... I AM work in progress!!


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