Wednesday, January 16, 2013


2013 has been ... uneventful so far. At least for me. Unfortunately, around me there are some bad things happening, like the cancer found in the lungs of my friend's father, my aunt's sister jumping from a bridge and killing herself because she was tired of living (so sad! life should be nice and fun and worth living for but unfortunately not for everybody), another friend's boyfriend being bullied at work, some broken bones and some broken hearts, some broken computers.
What can I say? Strong times. Very strong times.
At least around me.
Within me though ... uneventful.

I have no idea what's going on. It's unusual for me. I don't feel bad or depressed, don't misunderstand me. I go about my usual life (dancing, fitness, meeting friends, writing, reading, etc.) feeling good but as I am more into action then passiveness this feels strange to me. Besides I usually start my year thinking of all the stuff I want to change (in my life, job or whatever) or the trips I want to make. January 2013? Nothing. I just am. Totally strange for me. So totally strange. I don't even do a lot of thinking. Yes! You read correctly! No thinking - at least not as much as I'm known to do.
I am. I simply am.
My French friend would say: Je suis zen.
Unbelievable. I am zen. That must be it. I am content and silent. My head is silent.

Being silent changes your perception. It's quite fascinating. I found out that talking all the time makes me kind of deaf to the sensations of my heart and my soul. Do you understand what I mean? Usually one talks and talks and talks and then listens and listens and listens to the talk of others. I don't have anything against talking and listening, mind you. On the contrary. Exchanging views and feelings with another person or having a discussion with a group of people is important and vital. I just realized though that sometimes I simply... have to shut up. In order to start listening to my heart and my soul.
Sounds bizarre to you?
Well, it sounded bizarre to me as well.
Until I tried it out.
And was amazed about what my inner me had to tell me. And was even more amazed about how beautiful it is when everthing is silent.
As I said: wow!
2013 is gonna be strong. Either way.

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